Questions to Ask on a Memory Care Tour

A good question, asked plainly, can cut through an hour of polished touring. The communities worth choosing welcome hard questions; the ones to avoid get vague or defensive. This page gives you the questions I ask on every tour, grouped so you can print them, bring them, and take notes as you go.

One piece of advice before the list: don't worry about asking too much. A family that asks thoughtful questions signals that they'll stay engaged after move-in — and good communities want exactly that kind of family.

Questions About Staffing

Staffing underlies nearly everything else, so start here.

• What is your staff-to-resident ratio during the day? And overnight?
• What is the average tenure of your caregivers on the memory care floor?
• What has staff turnover looked like over the past year?
• How much dementia-specific training do your caregivers receive, and how often?
• Is there licensed nursing on-site, and if not, who's on call overnight?
• Who supervises the memory care unit, and how long have they been here?

Then watch as much as you listen. The answers matter, but so does what you see: Are residents waited on promptly? Do staff seem calm or frazzled? Do they know residents by name?

Questions About Care

• How do you handle behavioral escalations — agitation, aggression, sundowning?
• Is medication your first response to behaviors, or your last?
• How do you create and update each resident's care plan, and how are families involved?
• How do you handle wandering and keep the unit secure?
• How do you manage medications, and how do you prevent errors?
• What's your approach if a resident refuses care, like bathing or eating?
• How do you communicate with families when something changes?

Questions About Daily Life

• What does a typical day look like for a resident here?
• Can I see today's activity calendar — and are those activities actually happening right now?
• How do you keep residents engaged rather than just supervised?
• What are mealtimes like? Can I see the dining room during a meal?
• How do you handle dietary restrictions or difficulty eating?
• What's your policy on family visits? Can I visit anytime?
• Is there secured outdoor space residents can use?

Questions About Cost

Insist on real numbers, not the brochure's starting rate.

• What is the base monthly rate for the room we're discussing?
• How do care levels work, and what would my loved one's level likely cost?
• Is there a one-time community or move-in fee? How much?
• How often do rates increase, and by how much in recent years?
• What's included in the monthly rate, and what's billed separately?
• What's the refund or billing policy if my loved one moves out or passes away mid-month?
• Can you give me a realistic all-in monthly estimate based on my parent's actual needs?

For the bigger financial picture and how families pay, see the cost of memory care in Georgia.

Questions About the Future

These are easy to forget in the moment and painful to discover later.

• Can you care for my loved one as their dementia progresses, or is there a point where they'd have to move?
• How are increases in care needs assessed and priced?
• What does late-stage care look like here? Do you work with hospice?
• Under what circumstances would you ask a resident to leave?
• How much notice would we get if that happened?

Avoiding a forced second move is one of the kindest things you can do for someone with dementia, so understand the ceiling of care before you choose.

Questions Specific to Your Loved One

General reassurances are easy to give. Make the community speak to your actual parent:

• "My mother wanders in the evening — walk me through exactly what would happen here."
• "My father gets agitated when he's confused — how would your staff respond?"
• "He needs help eating — who helps, and how?"

If a director can answer concretely about your loved one's real situation, that's a good sign. If you only get general comfort phrases, press harder.

A Few Practical Tips

• Tour two or three communities, not more, in the first round. Too many and they blur together.
• Take notes right away, while the visit is fresh. Capture the answers and your gut feel — the smell, the staff, whether you could picture your parent there.
• Use the same questions everywhere so you're comparing like with like.
• Go back unannounced at a less polished hour before you decide.

For a broader walk-through of what to observe, see the memory care tour checklist, and for the warning signs to watch, see red flags to watch for on a tour.

And if you'd like someone to come ask the hard questions with you — and read the answers the way someone who's toured these communities for years can — reach out to Amy. I'll come with you, and it's always free to your family.